#14: Monotone Drone

Drop the idea of being “authentic” to version 1.0 of you.

Reframe

This may hurt to hear. 

“Be authentic” is an interview trap. It gives you the sense of freezing who you are in time, not allowing for growth and change. If you were that shy kid growing up, you must remain shy or you’re not being authentic in some way. You’ll typically see this advice wrapped up with passion mentioned multiple times. 

The definition of authentic is a broad umbrella referring to quality, data, a recipe, restaurant, or luxury goods. It’s a catch- all word that people fill in the blanks around depending on a number of internal & external factors. 

What does it mean when applying this concept to interviews? 

Does it mean present your unfiltered self? 

Do I think that if I showed up to our first date set in an old castle at Smith and Wollensky’s in Boston with no makeup, hair up in a knot, and sweatpants that it would have impressed my future husband? 

Not a chance.   

Don’t think you can just show up to an interview and win it by being “authentic.”

Yet this is the way many people are interpreting it. 

In one case, a person we’ll call “Jack” performed well enough to go to a final interview with a colleague’s client. He did not get an offer after 3 rounds because he could not loosen up personally. The manager tried to engage him in conversation and he kept an artificial wall up to protect himself.  Denying his basic human needs.

Then I prepared him for interviews with my client. I asked him for permission to give feedback, based on what I’d heard from the other interview. I asked him about what excited him so I could hear what his voice sounded like. I dug into it so he could notice the difference too. I could finally hear the smile on his face. He got it. 

All this time, he felt like he had to present a certain way to be authentic. As if improving was a betrayal to his former self. 

In the past, I thought I had to present in a monotone humorless way to be taken seriously at work. I had taken on this same form “Jack” had. Through study and trial and error, I worked through it. He could too, all he needed to see is that it was possible. 

I spoke monotone and got a laugh. So he could see presenting information is a learned skill. It’s not something you have or don’t. And striving to be better doesn’t mean you’re less authentic. 

Once I made it safe and fun for him, we made progress. And he crushed his interviews.

The key takeaway?  

Focus the conversation on the problems you solved.  Not trying to be the perfect monotone drone. Highlight examples of your work during the interview that naturally excite you. Managers who interview people all the time will hear this in your voice. Setting you apart from the competition. 

Focus on being authentic puts you in an awkward position if you don’t get the job. 

Did they reject your skills or your authentic self? 

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NYC

You may have heard of the tree at Rockefeller Center, store windows decked out on 5th Avenue, The Rockettes, Tea at the Plaza, or Santaland at Macy’s. 

As locals, we look forward to seeing the Holiday Lights at the Bronx Zoo. They have each continent represented with trails of intricate animals made of wire and colored fabrics lit up like lanterns. 

There’s also fire pits for s’mores, ice carving demonstrations, and the classic bug carousel. New animals are added each year with movement included in a few sculptures now too. 

Check out a few of our favorites here: 

Pro Tip: 

If you want to see live zoo animals & the holiday lights, grab tickets for the 3pm time slot. 

Otherwise, it’s all lights. 

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Running

These 2 quotes from the founder of Chi Running, Danny Dreyer stuck with me this week. 

“The quality with which you move, how you think, and how you relate to the world around you is always a choice in your life.” 

“When you choose to improve the quality of your running, there is never a bad run, but there is often a good lesson.” 

Whenever I need to work through anything mentally or I’m making a big decision, running is my go to tool. 

Each run presents a challenge, some bigger than others. Some real and some imagined. 

Something new to work through.

The biggest takeaway from training for the 2023 Tokyo marathon so far is to just relax. Work with gravity & surrender to the road. Using my legs for support instead of propulsion. 

I get in trouble with muscle tweaks when I start standing up too upright instead of leaning in with my shoulders, hips, and ankles aligned. Or reaching too far in front with my legs instead of trusting they will support me. 

I then can apply these lessons to what else is happening in my life, elevating that simple act of running into something new. 

Let’s keep moving forward.

Jen

PS: I appreciate all of you reading along & reaching out. I read every comment.