Why Engineers’ Gate?
It’s the entry point to Central Park for the New York City marathon.
My favorite place & my favorite event to bring everyone together.
I’m a New Yorker, avid marathoner, and technical recruiter looking to give back to the city & industry that made me.
I moved to New York City for love on a $15 bus from Boston with 1 taped up suitcase to my name. Now I’m a successful business owner, wife, and mother with a mission to get you to a better place too.
Each issue explores:
Reframe of a common interviewing & hiring scenario
Life in New York City
Running insight of the week
Join the journey.
Reframe
You’ve interviewed this person before.
You may have even been this person before.
Slow to warm up to other people. Hard to come out of a shell. Distant.
You can be the most competent person in the world but if you can’t make a good impression with other people, it’s lost.
As an interviewer, you want this slow to warm up person to do well because you know they are good. You remember being in that very seat in the past.
And you know the winning way to present themselves follows a pattern.
Much like the patterns they are excellent at creating with a computer.
So what do you do when you feel like you have a good person who may be slow to warm up?
Ask them this:
“What would have to be true for you to feel comfortable opening up with us?”
If they feel like they are being open, you have a mismatch.
If they know what it would take, they are self aware enough to work through it with you.
Not everyone who is quick to warm up is a great hire.
Not everyone who is slow to warm up is a bad hire.
There is nuance.
It’s more useful to think of the world in percentages & odds.
At the end of the day though, the hiring manager will have to explain their choices to another person to get approval to hire.
If a job seeker gives a subtle red flag such as being slow to warm up in an interview, it’s much easier for another person to say “I told you so” to the manager when the hire doesn't work out.
We’re human.
We avoid this sort of tribal, public pain whenever possible.
Make it easier to hire you.
Know what it takes to come out of your shell. You don’t always have to be out of it, but knowing how to manage your energy will help with more than just interviewing.
Test out different approaches to see what works best for you.
Try low stakes easy fixes first, like looking at a picture that makes you happy before your next interview.
Imagine a small fix changing everything.
The good news is that you were born to grow & change.
You’re not cast in a permanent play in the role of “slow to warm up.”
Learning new approaches to human interaction is no different than learning the latest version of your favorite programming language.
My job as a recruiter is part coach. I help people feel comfortable to open up in conversation by letting them know I do my best work with the truth. What is really happening.
Not the answers you googled to give.
Sound like you?
Want to talk it through with a person who only wins if you win?
Schedule a 7 minute call here
NYC
Happy Halloween!
It’s my son’s favorite holiday.
We’ve started making it a month long celebration with all the activities spread out during the month. Multiple costume wears.
One of our favorites is Boo at the Zoo, at the Bronx Zoo.
This year, we added another level of excitement by booking a Halloween themed animal connection experience for a small group of 7 people.
In this, you get to see animals up close and ask the trainers questions.
While on the way to the training facility, we learned from our guide Jen that they have a show called “The Zoo” all about the Bronx Zoo.
Some of the animals we met are stars of the show who other people knew by name.
I had no idea this was a thing.
Did you?
Here’s a few of the animals we saw:
Check out virtual meet & greets here
Check out in person experiences here
Running
Getting back into double digit long runs preparing for the Tokyo marathon feels amazing.
The peace that comes & energy unlocked when I’m done are feelings I haven’t been able to find anywhere else.
I need to start carrying a pad and pen when I run though, because my mind works overtime solving problems while my body is in autopilot mode.
One of the core concepts in ChiRunning, centers around energy management.
Gathering Energy
Focusing Energy
Conserving Energy
Managing Adversity
Let’s break these down.
Gather
Before you begin running, you gather energy by focusing on the purpose of your run. Make it easy on yourself. Create a good mental environment by filling up on positive mental thoughts.
Right now in New York City, it’s marathon week. The energy is building up in a way you can feel in Central Park. I’m soaking it all in & imagining the finish line in Tokyo.
Focus
There comes a time when this energy will leak due to fatigue or lack of focus. Happens to everyone. This is where ChiRunning helps with strategy. When you feel this energy leak, that’s where your Y’Chi (say ee-chee) kicks in. “This is the practice of using your eyes to direct your chi to move your body.”
What does that look like in practice?
You pick something about 300 feet/100 meters ahead and focus on it. Pick something else when you reach that tree, lamp post, or another runner.
Conserve
Conserving energy focuses on starting off at a comfortable pace where you can speak, keeping that steady 170-180/strides per minute, and practicing form focuses. You will feel tension in your body at times. You can relax with visualization, breathing, & consciously releasing muscles.
One of my favorite ways to do this is running with my metronome set to 180/strides per minute with a beep for every foot strike. Telling myself to “Let go” or “Gentle breath”. Then I focus on exhaling extra until my energy is balanced again.
This quote in particular resonates:
“The important thing to remember when you’re feeling tired is that it doesn’t necessarily mean that you have expended all of your energy and that your tank is empty. Yes, it could mean that, but it could also mean that your mind or body is doing something that is either blocking or misusing your available energy.”
Important reminder to not believe everything you think.
Managing Adversity
Adversity happens on runs and in life. It’s how you respond to it that matters.
This template in particular is helpful: “My present situation, subject to change, is _____________.”
Once you successfully manage your energy on a run, you’ll prove to yourself you can also manage it in other areas of your life.
That’s it for this week.
Start playing with managing your energy today on a run.
Then experiment with it at work too.
Let me know how it goes.
Let’s keep moving.
Jen
PS: All quotes are from Chi Marathon by Danny Dreyer & Katherine Dreyer
> “What would have to be true for you to feel comfortable opening up with us?”
> If they feel like they are being open, you have a mismatch.
> If they know what it would take, they are self aware enough to work through it with you.
Oh this is a really good question.
I would say, as long as their eyes light up at the question, even if they ramble and give a long-winded, rambling answer, it's sufficient evidence of minimum amount of self-awareness.
May not be aware of what's the solution for them to open up, but at least they are self-aware that they have this issue.
Good enough for me at least :)
By the way, you should do a thread / article of the collection of the best questions to ask
from interviewer or interviewee point of view.
Questions like this one you mentioned.